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Parenting Tip - The Food CLock

22/2/2017

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One source of stress in our house is the dinner table. Well, ok, not literally the table exactly, but the pace with which the kids eat at the dinner table.

Two of the three kids would regularly take upwards of 30 minutes to go from start to finish and would require constant prodding and reminding to stop talking and eat their food. When we got tired of nagging and waiting for them to finish, there would be drama around taking their food away.
The whole thing turned into a power-play between us and the kids and I wanted to find a way to stop playing that game. The idea occurred to me to set a timer on my phone and let the kids know that they had 30 minutes to eat and when the timer sounded, whatever was left would get taken away. The problem with that plan is that numbers ticking on a phone don't convey any sense of meaning or urgency to a kid that can't read a digital clock or relate numbers on a screen to the passing of time.
I needed a way to communicate the passage of time and the approaching deadline to a 3 year-old. It had to be simple, easy to manage, easy to reference and effective. Enter, the food clock.

Even a 3 year-old can grasp the concept that the hands move slowly and when the big hand gets to the 6, then it's time to be done.
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I jumped on Amazon and found the largest, simplest analog clock that I could find. When it arrived, Katie figured out a way to color code the clock face so that the kids could learn and understand that they were running out of time.

I built a simple stand out of Duplos and now the clock sits at the end of the table where everyone can see it. We have to manually reset it after each meal and we pop the battery in and out to start and stop it which is kind of a pain, but well worth it.

The kids have become so invested in the idea that now they argue over who gets to start, stop, and reset the clock. It's also freed Katie and I (ok, mostly Katie) from the role of task master with trying to convince the kids to "take a bite!" Now, if we notice that they're busy chatting instead of eating, we just calmly point at the clock and they get after it.

We did have a couple instances where 30 minutes expired and there was still food on the plate. In those instances, we held the line and explained that they chose to goof around instead of eat and they ran out of time so their food was going away. After these first couple drama sessions, however, subsequent instances where time expired were met with disappointment, but not resistance.
Overall, the food clock has been a huge success. Stress at the dinner table has been significantly reduced and the kids are developing a sense of agency, self-determination and consequences. If they choose to goof around and they run out of time, then their food goes away. If they choose to focus on eating, then they get to eat all their food. It's not an angry mom and dad taking their food away anymore.
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Militant Parenting Tip - Time Hacks

1/2/2017

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You know that moment when it's time to get the kids out of the pool so you can head home and have dinner, but they're in the middle of playing with their friends and having a good time? Yeah, you know that's not going to go well.

I don't remember exactly when we started doing it, (UPDATE: It was because of this video) but giving time hacks to the kids for how much time they had left until it was time to wrap it up has alleviated an immense amount of stress in our life.
A time hack is simply a heads up to the kids that they've got a few minutes left until it's time to wrap it up and move on. If they know it's coming, I've found that there's significantly less conflict. Our particular flavor of time hacks draws on the technique used by the US Army Airborne Operations Command Sequence.
It's a call-and-response pattern that ensures that the kids have heard the time. I'll get their attention and call out loudly, "Fiiive minutes!" They're then expected to call back, "Fiiive minutes!" If they don't call it back to me, I'll call it out again and again until they do.
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You can see the time hack in action at 0:15 into the video above. The jump masters call out "Ten minutes!" and the jumpers respond back to confirm that they've heard and are ready.
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Militant Parenting Tip - Hand and Arm Signals

30/1/2017

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Hand and arm signals aren't just useful to tactical forces that need to communicate with each other when distance or noise discipline prevents verbal communication. They can also be put to good use with your kids when you end up in a noisy crowd and need to get your kids to rally up or hustle up.

Of course, none of these signals will make sense unless you coordinate them before hand with your kids so take the time to let them know what you mean with each signal so they know what's expected of them.

Rally Up
This signal is particularly useful to get your kids to come over to you or to a location that you specify.

​To make this signal, hold your fist slightly above your head with your index finger extended and move it in a circle.

After a few rotations point to the location where you want your kids to rally up.
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Hustle Up
Also known as double-time, this signal means, "Hustle up! We've got to go! Now!"

This signal is made by pumping your fist up and down several times. Imagine that you were a truck driver pulling the horn cord repeatedly. That's how you make this signal.

Cease Fire
While there is the potential that you might need to use this to tell your kids to stop shooting, it's more likely that you may just need them to stop whatever they're doing.

Make this signal by waving your hand in front of your face with your palm facing outward.
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Gas! Gas! Gas!
Yeah, I think we all know when this one is necessary.

Extend your hands and arms out straight and bend at your elbows so that your fingers touch your shoulders.

Sources
  • WildernessArea.com
  • David Brubakers
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