Being offended is a sign of weakness.

When someone does or says something and you feel offended, it's a sign of weakness in yourself that you should investigate thoroughly and resolve. Let's talk through a scenario to better understand this idea.

Let's say that someone uses a racial slur towards one of my kids. Anything I say in response to this person is going to be about as effective as a flame war on the internet so there's really no benefit to it besides maybe briefly feeling better about myself. Now, if I actually engage physically based my feeling of offense, chances are that I'll wind up in hand cuffs or in the hospital.

Allowing myself to react based on that perceived offense means that I'm letting the other person control me. They get to decide how I'm going to think about myself. They get to dictate my behavior. That's weakness.

But what about my kid? What about how they'll think or feel about themselves hearing someone speak to or about them this way? Shouldn't I do something to protect them?

Yes. Of course. In fact, that's exactly what I'm doing. By rejecting the person's attempt at offending me, I'm showing them how to be strong enough to control anger and reject the control that other people try to exert over me. I'm setting the example I want them to follow.

It's reasonable to assert that such a complex and potentially subtle lesson may be missed by some children. If you feel like your kids might instead see you as being weak and unable to stop the mean person, take the time to explain what you're doing and why you're making the choices that you're making. It's even more powerful if you do it in the moment and in front of the person that is causing the offense.

"A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinion of the sheep." - Tywin, GoT

To pass this week's challenge, you have to let your son drive.

Driving a car is a big responsibility. Letting your son drive the car is both fun and a great way to show him that you trust him. You can have him sit on your lap and turn the wheel while you work the pedals if you're not comfortable with him sitting in the seat by himself.

Take the time to teach him how to operate a car and how to drive it. Then let him actually make it go.

CYA - Be smart. You're the adult and are responsible for your safety. Follow the law.

You may not keep a calendar, but think about your weekly schedule. Think about all the appointments and work and meetings and school and kids events and clubs and ...

Now, is anywhere in your schedule, "Play w/ kids" or "cook dinner w/ kids"? Aside from shlepping to and from various practices or doctors appointments, do you have any time on your schedule that is actually set aside for your kids?

For a long time, I've worked this way with my kids. When an open block of time appeared in my schedule, I'd mentally assign it to spending time with the kids, but I wouldn't actually write it down. Then, inevitably, something else would pop up and I'd fill it in to that open time and time with the kids would vanish despite my best intentions.

Once we schedule something, we plan other things around it. The other things competing for that time in our lives tend to take a lower priority to the thing that we've already planned. When a conflict arises, it's on us to choose which activity is more important and which gets pushed off to a later date.

Actually schedule time to be with your kids doing something fun for them. Once a week is great and can still be realistically accomplished. Put it on the schedule and then defend that time aggressively. Don't let other things crowd in on it and take that time from your kids.

To pass this week's challenge, you have to make something for your son.

Everyone can make something. Some guys are good at carpentry, others can paint or draw, others can build with Legos. Whatever your ability, put in the effort and time to create something for your son. Doing that will show him that he's important to you and that you care.