Bad stuff happens to good people. I wish it didn't, but it does. It sucks.
Remember Job? Dude was top-notch. He was one of God's favorites and he still lost everything.
When bad stuff happens, it's easy to feel like you have no control in the situation and that you're just along for the ride. It's easy to feel like a victim and by the dictionary definition of the word, you probably are one. It's easy to throw up your hands and think, "Well, this is my life now."
The dictionary definition of "victim" isn't what I'm talking about here. I'm not talking about being so hard-core and in control of your environment that you never let bad stuff never happens to you. I'm not so far gone as to suggest that you should never let bad stuff happen. That's not possible.
What I'm talking about is accepting victimhood. The state of being a victim. I'm talking about the mindset of "Oh, this bad thing happened to me so now I'm defined by this unfortunate circumstance."
The problem with accepting the identity of victimhood is that you're surrendering control of your life to your circumstance. You're abdicating sovereignty as an independent and free-thinking person. The events of your life are no longer your responsibility. It's not your fault because some bad thing once happened to you.
Yeah, fuck that. That's not the sort of person I want to be.
So what are your other options? What can you do when bad stuff outside your sphere of control happens to you? What can you possible control in a situation that is out of control? How can you reject victimhood?
It's simple; you reject victimhood.
You refuse to let your life be determined by your circumstances. Sure you might have to deal with some enduring condition now, but you get to choose if you let your life be defined by that condition. The bad stuff is a part of your story, not the entirety of your story.
You get to write your own story. If you accept victimhood, you let your circumstance write the story for you. Backhand that punk and kick him in the nuts. Tell him he doesn't get to choose anymore. You do.